Despite all the recent political “change”, I certainly don’t think that our society is rushing to become “nicer” people, nor does it appear that we have any urgency to do so in the near future. As I recall, President Obama had even commented on stamping out evil in his acceptance speech. We are actually on our way to be bullies.  In any case, I think it’s hilarious how euphemistic we are at assigning titles to jobs, especially in the hospital.

Janitor = Environmental Services.

Chief Resident: We have to lock up the Keurig coffee packets, because environmental services (ES) has been using ours.

Me: ES? (What? Health Inspectors stealing our coffee? How often does that happen?)

…[pause]…

Me: Oh, the janitors are stealing our stuff.

K-cup coffee pods...the ones the hospital janitors are stealing

Janitors should be janitors, just like the Janitor on Scrubs.  I get the derogatory connotations, but hell, apparently interns aren’t considered residents to some people (prior article).

Secretary = Medical support services/Assistant/residency coordinator

Come on guys. There’s also nothing wrong with being a secretary. I guess this euphemism is similar to Stewardess/Steward = Flight Attendant. Times have changed.

Insurance adjustor = Risk management = lawyer or lawyer’s secretary

I shit you not. “Insurance adjustor”? I had to meet with one of these guys. He was a lawyer. What a conniving means to rename a sleasebag. This doesn’t euphemize anything.

What other job titles have been doctored?

medicine euphemisms, politics