I’m always amazed at the types of food that hospitals serve in their cafeterias. I remember that I once saw a McDonald’s in the basement of one of the teaching hospitals of Baylor. The food court of the Cleveland Clinic (in Cleveland, not to be confused with ones in Abu Dhabi or Florida) also has a McDonald’s, right across from a TexMex stand that serves tasty nachos. Yes, why don’t we serve a 1500 calorie extra value meal to a guy whose family member just had an MI? What a great way to strum up future business in the cath lab!

My current hospital is no different. During my block of night float, I discovered that the cafeteria grill cooked items off menu. Off menu! I liked that. So on the last night of my block, when the only parts of my body that hadn’t been punished were my arteries, I custom ordered a Texas Toast grilled cheese sandwich. Two extra-thick processed slices of white bread painted (yes, painted) with a glistening coat of grease, with FOUR slices of american cheese in the center. Wholesome goodness. They should serve that with a statin.

medicine humor, toon