I wrote about my feelings of receiving inappropriate consults on a previous post. Since then, I tallied an additional list of observations I’ve noted in consultation requests. Some of these are absurd:

Me: This is ophthalmology returning a page.

Consultee: You have to see this consult…

Others are even more direct:

Me: This is ophthalmology returning a page.

Consultee: Five-One-One-Eight… [reading medical record number of presumed patient needing consult]

On other occasions, the interaction becomes insulting:

Consultee: (At 3 am) Sorry to wake you. This isn’t an official consult yet, but can I borrow your Tonopen? (Device to check eye pressure). This guy with a history of glaucoma fell and hit his head last night….

I suppose that direct blow to the eye could cause an eye pressure spike, but there are a few other incongruities in this consult request (We take home-call).

The ultimate insult:

Me: Can I borrow your stethoscope?

Consultee: Do you even know how to use one? (I was one year senior to this guy in medical school, and I taught him about renal failure in a review group)

Sometimes I just want to scream.

medicine ophthalmology, rant